Silva, Martha

Professor Martin

English 114 B

20 February 2012

Bad Parents or Unfit Parents?

            Anyone who has read The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls would say that Rose Mary and Rex Walls were unfit parents for Lori, Jeannette, Brian, and Maureen.  They would even say that the children would have been better in foster care.  Although people say foster care would be better for Jeannette and her siblings, they actually would have not been better in foster care, because it has been proven that foster care can have a deep effect on children as they grow up, and sometimes there are worse living conditions in foster care than in the actual home with biological parents.  Rex Walls and Rose Mary might not be fit parents according to Robert Epstein’s article, “What Makes a Good Parent?”, but the Walls’ siblings, especially Jeannette, would not be who they are today without their parents.

            There is a difference between being “unfit” parents and “bad” parents, and Jeannette’s parents may have seemed like bad parents, but in reality, they were not “unfit” because most of their children grew up to be successful and great adults.  Furthermore, they also had moments where it looked like they cared for their kids.  In the memoir, “The Glass Castle” by Jeannette Walls, many sweet and caring moments are shared between Jeanette and her father Rex Walls.  His nickname for her was “Mountain Goat” and he always hung out with her and preferred her over his other children.  He shows that he really cares about Jeannette numerous times.  For example, when Jeanette talks about dropping out of college, he says, “The hell you are…There’s nine hundred and fifty bucks…It’s yours, since when is it wrong for a father to take care of his little girl”(Walls 264-265). This shows how much Rex Walls cares for Jeanette to give her all the money he has so she can pay for college and not end up dropping out.  There is also a moment where Rex talks with Jeannette and gives her a star for Christmas and talks about building a glass castle where they can live in.   Rex Walls also shows that he loves Jeannette a lot and they have a unique relationship.  He says, “But you’ve always loved your old man didn’t you?” and Jeanette says, “I did Dad, and you loved me, then Rex replies, “Now that’s the God’s honest truth…” (Walls 279).   Throughout the memoir, we see that Rex Walls was an alcoholic and had many problems, but what we also see is how much love he has for his children, especially Jeannette, and that love was one of the things that molded her into the person she is today.  When Jeannette was old enough to realize that her father abused alcohol and was addicted to it, she asked him if for her birthday, he could stop drinking.  He loved his daughter so much, that he actually did not drink alcohol for a while, but eventually went back to it, since one may know that quitting an addiction cold turkey is very difficult.  This situation still showed that Rex Walls did care about his daughter enough to quit drinking.  Besides Jeannette, her other siblings turned out to be successful as well, Brian got married and bought a house in Long Island where his wife and child lived with him, and Lori had gone her own way as well, still keeping in touch with her parents.

            Although one might put out many situations where Rex Walls and Rose Mary were completely careless and neglected their children, foster care would not have been better than Jeanette’s biological parents taking care of them.  There definitely are conditions in foster care as bad as Jeanette’s living conditions with Rex and Rose Mary.  There have been many cases where adoptive parents or foster parents have abused and tortured children. I read in a blog about adoption about an eight year old running away from home and a neighbor found her.  The eight year old girl appeared bleeding, bruised, and beaten.  Police went to the foster mother’s house, where she admitted to beating her daughter with a high heeled shoe, and when police investigated the home, they found two bodies of the eight year old’s biological sisters.  Rex and Rose Mary were sometimes careless, but never beat their kids and never to the point where they killed them like in this example.  Foster care includes kids who are abused by their parents, Jeannette and her siblings were never abused or hit by Rex and Rose Mary.  There are more and more kids going into foster care and social workers might not be able to cope with it.  In the article, “With a record number of children in care, can social workers cope?” written by Europe Intelligence Wire, talks about a specific case of child Peter Connelly, who died in 2007 after undergoing more than 50 injuries over eight months, and after numerous times of being put in the hospital with bruises, scratches, and swelling on his head.  Notts County Council’s Children’s Services were criticized for basically letting a child die under their watch.  Furthermore, in Epstein’s article on what makes a good parent,  Rex and Rose Mary are not completely bad parents because they possess some of the qualities that are on the list for being a “good” parent, such as love and affection in some instances, relationship skills in that Rose Mary never left Rex’s side, autonomy and independence  of course because the kids were always on their own, and life skills without counting on anyone to support them financially. 

            Besides the lack of care and conditions in foster care, there are also problems that develop from being in foster care when a child grows up to be an adolescent and an adult.  Many children can have identity problems, social problems, and many other various problems.  A study was made by Susan M. Kools, writer of “Family Relations”, of adolescent foster kids who have been in foster care for five years or more.  She observed that the institutional structure, diminished status of the foster child, and the view of the foster child being stereotyped brought many consequences and negative effects of the child.  Throughout being in foster care, adolescents experienced depersonalization and stigmatization.  The long term consequences of these conditions were stigmatized self-identity, low self-esteem, social isolation, lack of family connection, low self-confidence, and lack of future orientation.  Also, they are more likely to alienate themselves and experience depression and many other disorders, asking themselves what did they do wrong for their biological parents to leave them, or why doesn’t anyone want them.  If Jeannette and the other siblings would have been sent to foster care, Lori, Jeannette, and Brian would not have been motivated to move out on their own and follow what they wanted to pursue.  If they would have been sent to foster care they also would not have each other, and one can see that the Walls children were close and loyal to each other.    

            One might mention that the youngest member of the Walls family, Maureen, had problems and did not end up successful like the other Walls children.  It is true that Maureen did not live up to the success that the other Walls children had, since she assaulted her mother and was admitted to a mental institution, and after that, she left to California, never to be heard from again.  However, no family is perfect and as we can obviously see, the Walls family is no exception.  Perhaps Maureen’s problems were genetic and came from her parents, but it does not mean that Rose Mary and Rex Walls were bad parents, because they did have three successful children.  One bad seed can happen to any family, and it does not mean that those parents were bad or unfit.

            All in all, many people may be judgmental on the way Rex and Rose Mary raised their children, but as anyone can see, they raised successful adults.   The Walls children also had each other to be loyal too and talk to when they were at odds with their parents.  If they would have gone to foster care, they would not have had each other, which would have been devastating for them.  Foster care should be no home for any child, especially with the living conditions and treatment most foster kids get, even after they get adopted.  Rex Walls and Rose Mary were not “unfit” parents, nor where they entirely “bad”.  If they were as bad as some people would make it out to be, Jeanette, Lori, Brian, and Maureen would have been dead, in jail, or homeless, and none of them are in those situations.

Works Cited

Kools, Susan. "Adolescent Identity Development in Foster Care." Family Relations, 46.3 (1997):             263-271

"With a Record Number of Children in Care, Can Social Workers Cope?." Europe Intelligence Wire,        (2012): NA

Walls, Jeanette. The Glass Castle. New York: Scribner, 2005. Print.